I know not with what

I know not with what: "

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones .” ~ Albert Einstein

(A nuclear mushroom cloud)

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: mrjodie via Advanced Lol Builder

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"

Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away / And I'm left to carry on and wonder why

I guess after my last posts I left this all behind. But in the end I'm simply out of people to talk to. Our marriage is over, and I'm left behind. The only thing worse than the fact that the person I loved and wanted to spend forever with left is the emptiness that I feel inside. I just keep going day to day, but I've lost my drive to do anything. In so many ways things are better now. We were miserable in the last weeks. But now I'm just so much more alone than I have ever been. Its a silence in the house that weighs on me, and I don't want to come home to an empty house. But I have no where to go, and nothing to do. I think to myself that I want to meet someone, but I know I'm not wanting to be in a relationship, I just want companionship, and its a selfish wish.

I never thought my life was going to end up like this. I never thought I'd end up alone, almost thirty and starting my life over again.

'Is there some place far away, some place where all is clear

Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wander, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No, it isn't how it's really meant to be.'

I wish I could have spun faster.

http://xkcd.com/162/

I just didn't know tomorrow would be yesterday.

Did you say it?
I love you
I dont ever want to live without you
You changed my life
Did you say it?
Make a plan
Set a goal
Work toward it
But every now and then look around
Drink it in
Cause this is it
It might all be gone tomorrow

So things didn't turn out right, does that make the past worthless?

So my wife realized/accepted/came to terms with her sexuality. One that's not the same as mine. I don't know when this happened, and I plan to discuss this and talk about it more, but the issue isn't about that really.

What do we do now? What is our future? What is my future? Who am I now that I am not her husband?

I knew the moment I first kissed her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. What do I do with my life now? Who am I?

Obviously, we've got a lot to still discuss. Divorcing now has a lot of down sides. But waiting isn't such a good option either.

But I don't want to spend my life without her. But we can't go on like this either.

I guess we'll just have to see.

Finals

Wow, I have not updated all semester. That's special. It's finals time, and the science building is quiet. I'll try to find a dp for today, I think.

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Demo day!